Sunday, March 13, 2011

I'm a Dirty, Dirty Thief!

Hi...I'm feeling penitent this morning, so I wrote this to confess that I steal from everyone I ever come into contact with. I've been arrested for the same 4 times so far this year. For example, I was caught stealing a sandwich from an Associated Grocery Store so that I would have money to take a cab because I felt that I was too good to take a subway. It's true...you can check with the NYC police to confirm. It's all a matter of public record. Most recently, I was discovered to have been stealing anything of value that I could get my hands on from the people who thought they were my friends. I tricked these people, who helped me stay out of homeless shelters or from freezing on the streets, into thinking that I was their friend and that they could trust me. Once I had gained that trust, I began to steal jewelry, clothing, drivers licenses.....anything that i thought I could sell for money to support my drug habit. I realize now that flaunting those things I stole... wearing clothing and jewelry in front of the people from whom I had stolen them, was a cry for help. I need to go to rehab, but I lack the strength to do it myself. If I am not forced to go, I will continue down this destructive path until I am caught stealing from the wrong person. I also think that perhaps I need to see a therapist to address my cleptomania and variety of other debilitating psychological issues. Please make me get help now, before it's too late. This is a not so subtle scream for HELP!!!! I want to be a better person. I really do, or maybe not...Maybe this is a ploy to gain your trust so I can steal from you too......You'll never know. Dishonestly yours, Audrey

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